Monday, 12 June 2017

5 Things Not To Say To Someone With Acne

I’ve kept it no secret on this blog that I’ve struggled with acne since my early teens. For around 12 years now I have been struggling to get my skin under control and feel confident when I walk out of the door. 12 bloomin’ years of creams, gels, tablets and the fear that it would never go away.
Over the years that I’ve had acne, I’ve had many people share their opinions on my skin with me. Whether that’s been horrible people calling me names because of it, or people trying to offer help but who just end up making me feel self-conscious and embarrassed. If it’s acne related, trust me, I’ve heard it, and today I thought I would share five things that you shouldn't say to people with acne!

YOU WEAR TOO MUCH MAKEUP… I mentioned in my What It’s Really Like To Struggle With Acne post, the story of the girl in my college who one day before a lesson just out of the blue decided to tell me that I wore too much makeup and looked ‘plastic’ and ‘fake’ because of it. I had absolutely no idea how to respond, and I ended up just making my excuses to the teacher, coming home and just crying because I felt so crap. If someone wears a lot of makeup, and you can clearly see that they have skin issues, because let’s face it, no matter how much makeup I put on I was never going to hide those spots, DO NOT comment on it. In fact, if what you have to say is negative, don’t comment on their appearance at all. This girl didn’t mean it in a malicious way, but even so, what good could possibly come of telling me that, other than making me feel embarrassed? No one has the right to voice negative opinions on someone else. You’re allowed to think these things, sure, everyone thinks negative things about people, but do you have to voice them? No. If someone wants to cake their face in makeup, that’s their choice, if someone wants to go barefaced, that’s also their choice, and commenting negatively about someones appearance will NEVER do anyone any good.

DO YOU NOT WASH YOUR FACE?… Ah, the joys of hearing this one. Again, in my previous acne post, I told the story of how a stranger on a night out in liverpool tried to chat up myself and my friend, and once we’d refused he turned nasty. He asked me why I had so many spots, asked me if I never washed my face, and then spat in my face. Of course this is a very extreme circumstance to hear this sentence, but it’s also a very common thought that people with acne don’t wash their face. In fact, it could not be more of the opposite. People with acne most likely OVER WASH their face, in the vain attempt of stripping their skin of any and all oils. People with acne are not dirty, nor should you ever assume that they are.

THEY’RE JUST SPOTS… I have had this said to me SO many times, and usually by people who are trying to help. I completely understand how someone might hope that by saying this, their friend/family member/whoever might feel less consumed by their acne and more confident that no one really cares whether they have spots or not, and for some people that’s probably the case! In my experience however, I haven’t gained anything positive from people telling me this. Yes, they are just spots, and yes everyone has them, but when you have severe acne that covers pretty much your entire face, they are not just spots. You can’t brush them off as ‘just a few spots’ because they’re not and they affect your life, your confidence, your mental health, SO many things! I’ve been at a point before where I point blank refused to leave the house because my acne was so bad and unless you’ve been in a position where you physically don’t want anyone to see you because of the acne on your face, it’s going to be difficult to understand why this might not be a brilliant thing to say.

YOU’LL GROW OUT OF THEM EVENTUALLY… Again, this is something that is most likely said in an effort to help someone, and I completely understand that. For a lot of people, they will grow out of them. Their acne might only last through puberty and as they get older their skin may clear up, in which case saying something like this can offer someone hope. However, this doesn’t happen for everyone. In my teen years I had so many people tell me that my skin would clear up as I got older and I pinned so much hope on this one thought that when I realised they clearly weren’t going anywhere, I felt crushed. No matter what I did, no matter how old I got, those spots weren’t going anywhere, if anything my skin actually got worse as I got older, and it genuinely is heartbreaking.

HAVE YOU TRIED….? If someone has severe acne, it’s most likely they’ve tried every single product under the sun. Whilst it can be helpful to suggest products/treatments that may have worked for you, just be wary of continuously asking if they’ve tried this and that. It might be the case that absolutely nothing has worked for them, which it was for me, and it just became kind of tiresome when I just had to nod along and tell people I’d give stuff a go, when I knew full well that they wouldn’t make a single difference to my skin. If ever I recommend a skincare product on this blog, I make sure I say that whilst they might have had a positive effect on my skin, they might not work on someone else’s. For instance, products with salicylic acid and hyaluronic acid, which are supposed to be incredible for acne, didn’t do anything to my skin at all, but then products like the Lush Tea Tree Toner worked wonders. It might be better to wait and see if the person with acne asks for any recommendations first, rather than suggesting all the different products that promise overnight transformations.

I’m sure there’s lots of people out there who may have said these things and not ever meant them in a harsh way, but I can only talk about my experiences and for me personally, I didn’t want people to talk about my acne. I wanted nothing more than to hide it away and unless I brought it up myself, people discussing it with me just made me realise how noticeable it was and feel like I was on show. Acne can be a sensitive subject, and I think there’s a lot of people out there who might not realise this!
xxx


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14 comments

  1. I love this post! I've never really suffered with bad acne, but it has always been persistent, and I remember being in a biology class and the teacher made implications that washing your face would get rid of bad skin/acne and I felt all eyes turn to me! It was a really horrendous experience, but as I've grown older I've simply learned not to care what other people think or say!
    Rebecca

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    1. That teacher had absolutely no idea what they were talking about! Yes a good skincare routine can help some people, but simply washing your face is not going to magically get rid of acne! I mean do people like that think that people with acne seriously just do not wash their face? It's ridiculous! I'm sorry that happened to you! I'm really glad you liked this post <3 xxx

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  2. This is something that everyone should read! I never had acne but almost every man in my family had acne. They also said that almost everyone was like "oh hey, why don't you take care of your skin? Your hygiene must be really bad." I definitely show this post to someone who doesn't understand. Thank you for sharing!

    Heidi 🍓 | Heidi's Planner | Instagram

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    1. Thank you so much!! I will never understand how someone could say that to another person, it's unbelievable! I'm so glad you enjoyed xxx

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  3. I had pretty bad acne in middle school and had some people make comments about it, which was really annoying for me. My acne went away by high school, so I can't imagine what you have to go through now. Some people can be so inconsiderate and don't understand that if they have nothing nice to say, they should just not say anything. I hope that one day, you can find a product that works and get your confidence back :) You're beautiful, girl!

    http://www.myclusterofthoughts.com/

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    1. Aw thank you so much! I've actually just finished my second treatment of a drug called roaccutane (which is the final resort for people with acne) so my skin is currently the clearest it's ever been! But after 12 years of battling acne it'll always be an important subject to me! Thank you that's so lovely <3 xxx

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  4. I have always been so lucky when it comes to my skin, but growing up my sister really suffered, so I understand where you are coming from!

    Danielle xx
    http://www.fashionbeautyblog.co.uk/

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    1. It's a horrible thing to deal with! xxx

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  5. People can hurt with their comments, I know what is suffer acne and I never say nothing about what others have on their faces!

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  6. I don't have acne and it sounds awful! I would never say anything hurtful anyway, but now I know what it feels like from your description I kbow what they are going through.
    My blog is geekyglassesgirlsite.WordPress.com if you want to take a peek!
    Love and kindness,
    GeekyGlassesGirl

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    1. I'm glad to have helped in any way <3 xxx

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  7. This is so good! Many people are guilty of such comments including me. Not realizing it can have horrible effects on the receiver! Glad you're spreading the awareness !


    http://www.desiringsme.com/are-you-always-hard-on-yourself/

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    1. I think most people who say these things wouldn't deliberately intend to hurt someone, but it's better to be considerate and remember that it could <3 xxx

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