Monday, 7 August 2017

Why Sometimes You Should Be 'Selfish' And Put Yourself First

I don't like letting people down. In most situations, whether that's going out when I don't want to or helping someone else before I help myself, I will usually end up putting others first. 
Half of me loves this quality about myself. I love trying to help people in any way I can and it's always a wonderful feeling when someone is genuinely thankful for what you do for them. But the other half of me wishes that sometimes I would consider what I might want for a change. Whilst I'm sure that most people would love to give as much as they can to others, this can escalate into becoming too much for one person to handle and we end up neglecting ourselves because of this. So, whether it's telling your friends that you're sorry but you just don't want to go, or putting your phone on silent whilst you focus on what you need to do, here are a few reasons why sometimes putting yourself first is the right thing to do.

YOU'RE GOING TO BE WITH YOURSELF 24 HOURS A DAY, 7 DAYS A WEEK... The only person that is going to be in your life forever is you. If you're constantly putting others first, who don't necessarily reciprocate, you're going to burn out fast. Whilst it's definitely important to make sure we look after our friends and family as well, you are the only person who can truly look after yourself. If it seems like you're always putting the needs of others first, and they're not giving the same back to you, you need to stop doing it. Take the time to work on and take care of yourself, because the people you're sacrificing your time for might not be the ones who stick around for you. 

YOUR PHYSICAL AND MENTAL HEALTH WILL BENEFIT... We can all only do so much. If we keep going without looking after our minds and bodies, we're going to crash. Putting yourself first every now and then gives you time to re-energise. I know if I have a lot of social engagements one after the other I end up just having to say no and take some time for myself. If you feel like things are getting too much, take an evening to yourself and see how much better you feel. 

BY HELPING YOURSELF YOU'RE BETTER PREPPED TO HELP OTHERS... Whenever I worry about letting people down, I always remind myself of the saying 'secure your own oxygen mask before assisting others'. Whilst it's incredibly important to be kind and compassionate towards others, the healthier and happier you are, the more you're able to help other people. If you're constantly exhausted, tired or down, put yourself first and work on helping your own body and mind to be better. 

THE PEOPLE WHO TRULY CARE ABOUT YOU WILL UNDERSTAND... If you tell someone you want to take an evening to yourself, or that you're sorry but you can't help them right now, and they get annoyed at you or make you feel guilty, they are not the people you want in your life. The people who truly love and care for you will understand if you need to take some time for yourself, because it's incredibly likely that they need to do the same thing. No one needs people in their life who only take and never give. 

Do you find yourself giving too much of your time to other people?



  1. such a nice read ! I in the past gave too much to some people but never got anything back...I learned and I become a little wiser and more careful too.

  2. 'The only person that is going to be in your life forever is you.'
    Really liked that line, I've never thought about it before. One of my goals this year was to learn to say no more and put myself first sometimes. As you said, it doesn't mean we shouldn't help others but once in a while it does us good and even those we want to help to be a little selfish. Great post :)

    Coco Bella Blog

  3. Nice read... I don't like letting people down either, but this motivated me to think about myself too!

    Narhee | Made in Mauve

  4. I think everybody should be selfish from time to time and put themselves first!

    Danielle xx

  5. I'm reading a book at the moment that has just touched on self-esteem. It talks about how you treat yourself, and whether you would ever treat someone else the way you treat yourself. It encourages you to tell yourself that you love yourself every time you remember to. Whether you believe it or not, eventually it will break down the lies that you tell yourself that you are not good enough. It is something that I am trying because, like you say, I am with myself 24 hours a day, 7 days a week!
    Rebecca ♥

    1. I love that <3 I definitely agree, we tell ourselves things that we wouldn't ever tell anyone else and we need to be more kind to ourselves! Thank you for that lovely comment! <3 xxx

  6. Such a lovely post really needed this - thanks for sharing lovely xx Imogen


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