Monday, 6 May 2019

Life Update | Silver Linings

The moment I have any time away from writing, coming back to it and attempting to introduce a post becomes near impossible. It's as if my mind forgets how to transform my thoughts into coherent words on a page and every time an attempt fails I end up putting it off even longer. So today, I'm biting the bullet and just writing the first thing that pops into my mind; fingers crossed that my writing capability hasn't completely deserted me!

I've been away for a good long while. It's by far not my longest break away from writing, but it has been around 2 months or so and I feel so guilty. I love this website. I love the people who read my nonsense and leave comments underneath, and I always find it difficult when I realise I need to take a step away! 
I always strive to keep my posts as positive as possible, but at the same time I think it's important to acknowledge when things aren't completely shipshape and shiny, and it hasn't been for the past few months. Long story short - the feeling of being overwhelmed completely engulfed me, and the demons of self-doubt, melancholy, and a shed load of mind fog settled in for a visit. The way I like to describe it is that I have a glass wall in my mind that separates those demons from my usually content mindset. I can see those demons, they're always present in my make-up, but they're kept at bay by the glass wall. Sometimes, that glass wall breaks, and those demons finally get to sink their teeth into the rest of me. It's then a battle in my mind of fighting to resurrect that glass wall. 
In the interest of keeping my posts as positive as possible, I'm not going to go into the details of why things haven't been on the optimistic side, and instead thought I would ease myself back into writing by sharing some of the positivity amidst this grey period!

  • MY SISTER - I've spent a lot of time with my sister and her husband over the past few months and it's been so lovely. She runs her own Etsy business and was recently so overcome with orders for a couple of weeks that I went up to lend a helping hand and stayed at their house for a few nights. April also brought along her 27th birthday so we've had a few celebrations alongside the work, and it's been so lovely spending time with them both. She's been listening and responding to my emotional messages a lot recently and I'm feeling very lucky that I have her to call my big sister. 
  • FINISHING MY TEFL COURSE - I now have a certificate in Teaching English as a Foreign Language and, even though I'm unsure of whether I will actively progress down this particular career path, I'm incredibly proud that I completed the course and now have this option to hand for the future.
  • BOOKS - Reading has always provided an escape for me, and during times where I feel unfocused and overwhelmed, it almost acts as a form of meditation in that I'm able to focus on the words on the page and nothing else. It keeps my mind in one place and in different worlds, and I've read some incredible books recently. I'm hoping to share some of them soon!
  • MAKING SMALL STEPS FORWARD - When I lose control over my thoughts and feelings, I find it very easy to let them free fall into their own downward spiral, and returning out of that becomes a mammoth task. It's therefore a big achievement for me when I turn the wishful thinking in my mind to physical actions, and make small steps at getting to the place that I want to be. I'm proud that alongside the days where I've been immersed in a negative mindset, there are days in which I've made moves to bring myself out, and hopefully these moves will create a positive ripple effect.
  • TRYING NEW THINGS - I mentioned at the beginning of this year that one of my challenges is to try something new every fortnight and recently I've excelled at this! I've been exploring a variety of new places in the city centre with friends, and the evenings spent at my sisters brought a variety of new films to my attention. I'm hoping to continue this in a multitude of different ways!

It's intriguing to me how accomplished I'm feeling at having written a new post. For so long the idea of sitting down to write something, even something minimal, felt alien to me, and I'm really enjoying how positive this is making me feel. For anyone who returns to read my nonsense even after my impromptu hiatuses, thank you! It means the world, and hopefully I'll see you again soon <3 
x

Share:

5 comments

  1. Forcing yourself to see at least one positive aspect in every day is sooo important! I realized it when I was jobless, and completely depressed at my hopeless state of no purpose in life or money to live one. But I decided that every morning I have to come up with one positive aspect of the coming day before I was allowed to get up. Sometimes it seemed impossible, but I forced myself to come up with something. And after a while it became a habit. It's a really good habit I still keep up, and it has affected my self-confidence and the way I look at my life overall surprisingly much. I'm so much more positive a person because of forcing myself to do that at my lowest, so I know you will be all right as well. xx

    Teresa Maria | Outlandish Blog

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you so much for your comment! I've been feeling in a very similar situation at the moment so it's lovely to hear of your positivity! I've been trying out positive affirmations recently which I've really been enjoying, but I also love the idea of trying to come up with something positive specifically for the day ahead - that's a lovely idea <3 x

      Delete
  2. Aw girl I totally get where you're coming from with feeling so overwhelmed and just needing to shut off. Its important to take a step away and regroup. In recent weeks I was feeling absolutely dreadful but I started reciting positive affirmations every single morning when I first wake up to start my day with and (I know it probably sounds silly!) but I feel like it Really helps!! When you say things aloud, over and over, its like you will your mind to think that way.
    Glad to see you back writing :)

    Renee @ Maritime Mama

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you so much! I completely agree - I've been using positive affirmations for a few weeks now and they definitely help to begin and end my day in a positive way <3 x

      Delete
  3. It's great to have you back! Love reading your posts. Congratulations on completing your TEFL course! I hope you find your way again with writing blog posts again, you create some awesome content <3

    http://justmejaydee.blogspot.co.uk

    ReplyDelete

© Samantha Frances | All rights reserved.
Blog Layout Created by pipdig